I have power!!

So, it seems like I will manage to survive another jobless month.

Of the $460 I need to get everything paid, Scott has agreed to lend me $200. Not only did he agree, he thanked me for giving him the opportunity to help him, after all the help I've given him. Well how about that? I don't know that I've given him $200 worth of help (unless you consider if I'd charged him actual psychiatrist bill prices,) but it's good to know that I have people in my life so ready to come to my aid, as well as being told that I have been valuable in their lives as well. It's gratifying. Well enough to balance out the intense shame I feel having to continue asking for money.

Sean took me around today to pick up some more job applications. I really really want to have a job by my birthday. Huh, God? What do ya say? Birthday gift in the form of self-sufficiency? I think so. Still scrambling for a way to get the remaining $260 I need, but at least now I'm able to be a bit more optimistic.

Last night at Mandi's she and I had a really incredible talk. I talked about my shit in a way that I haven't really done so far, and it felt really really good to say these things out loud to someone who loves me. Mandi, should you ever read this post, thank you so much for being my best friend. You fulfill those duties far and beyond anything I could ask for. I love you.

While I am feeling somewhat better now, two hours ago I had a scare that sent me plummeting into a freakout. I thought my power had been shut off, and I am NOT in a secure enough state of mind to cope with that. Thank God for Sean, who managed to collect all my payment confirmation information and call APS for me to get it sorted out. Turns out, they'd received my payment and the power out was due to a short in the whole building. I had nothing to worry about all along. The amount of relief I've experienced today has been pretty... relieving.

And now I'm just sitting in my living room with my pets, waiting for $200 and some Burger King. When I've posted this blog, I will turn the light on (because I can =3) and read some Gambit.

I finally feel like things are going to turn out okay.

Google meme

Hank Green just did it (more than a year ago) and I'm going to do it too. Here.

According to first Google search result:

Jessica needs: Jessica needs fake titties and then she would be perfect

Jessica looks like: Jessica looks like she's got a sock down the front of her panties.

Jessica says: Jessica says Raina deserves to win.

Jessica wants: Jessica wants babies with Justin.

Jessica does: Jessica does Chicago.

Jessica hates: Jessica hates herself, but her comments might be questionable to some.

Jessica asks: Jessica asks you to pray for Tony's protection.

Jessica likes: Jessica likes to think she's a Ghetto Gangsta.

Jessica eats: Jessica eats a live octopus.

Jessica wears: Jessica wears her scoliosis Milwaukee brace in school.

Jessica was arrested for: Jessica was arrested for working as a prostitute in Florida.

Jessica loves: Jessica loves her some taco.

It's true. I do love me some taco.

Someday I'll get it right

Well, this is awkward. I will never ever ever be able to keep a blog.

I just lack follow through. It's a shame really, since I am so witty and awesome. I ought to ensure that my profound and glorious thoughts are preserved for the future. I'm just too lazy and forgetful and whatever other adjectives serve as a detriment to successfully keeping a journal of sorts.

Did you know that you can't be signed on to Blogger and gmail at the same time if your Blogger email address isn't the same as your gmail address? Eff you, Google!!

What's new in my life lately, you ask?

Well, nothing spectacular. At least nothing spectacularly good. I just live here alone with a roommate, a dog, four cats, two rats, and a fish. Though most of my time is spent alone with Finch and Scout (dog and cat, respectively.) I am, tragically, unemployed, and the idea of money makes me want to scream, only because I have none.
Somehow, I manage to make the best of it. Or at least, the good of it.

I am no longer in school (see above paragraph) but still passionate about language and determined to be a high school English teacher. Someday.

I still love all my dear friends. I am single, and while I'm not entirely happy about that fact as a fact, I am satisfied with the end to my previous situation, so I won't complain to that end. Friends and my dog are absolutely more than enough for me. In theory.

Because I have no job, I have much (too much!) downtime in which I read profusely, and watch too much TV I would otherwise never consider. Like Jersey Shore. I feel the shame coursing through me. But also Glee. Which, in spite of being premised on many things I quite dislike such as cover songs, overacting, and obnoxious high school stereotypes, I still somehow ADORE.
I also though, spend very very very much time trying to get a new job. Alas.

I don't really know what there is to say, since the entire point of this blog now and ever was to share my life with myself. A way for me to get things out without giving anything away. Right now, I don't feel like I have anything else to get out. I do want to check my email, though.

I'll just leave this here: